Why I Basically Ignore Most of the "News"

On the front page of Excite tonight is the breathless story that--brace yourself--Paris Hilton has had a fender bender!

Yes, it's true--the World's Most Useless Human accidentally backed into somebody. This merited an item from the Associated Press.

Am I supposed to give a shit?

This kind of crap is EXACTLY what's wrong with the reporting of news. It's a minor example of the horrible, misplaced priorities of our celebrity-driven "infotainment" system, where irrelevant garbage is highlighted and dwelled on relentlessly and important events are underreported or completely ignored. For the record, I don't give a rat's ass about anything having to do with:

• Paris Hilton.
• Tom Cruise.
• Any other useless, airheaded "celebrity"
• The 200th consecutive day of coverage of an attractive young female tourist who has mysteriously disappeared.
• Game show competitions.
• "Reality" TV.
• Bread products that look like Mother Teresa.
• The latest diet fad.
• "News" from the fashion world.
• Wacky home videos.
• And about 90% of the bullshit that passes for news in this freaking country.

My GOD, what a screwed up culture we live in.