J. Miller's Fearless 2008 Predictions!

1. The world is NOT going to end in 2008. There will be no Apocalypse, there will be no Armageddon, there will be no Doomsday. The world is going on. Get over it and deal with it. Learn to live a fuller life and care more deeply about other people. Stop obsessing about this end of the world CRAP, dammit!

By the way, this prediction goes double for all the braindead idiots who are worried about (or anticipating) the end of the world on 21 December 2012. On that date, I will be hoisting a Keoki dark beer and laughing my ass off at every disappointed moron on the planet.

2. The 2008 election campaign will be spectacularly ugly, especially if the Republicans are running against Hillary. The right wingers will drag out every vile, despicable lie they can and use any tactic, no matter how blatantly illegal or unethical to win. At least Hillary knows how to fight dirty herself. The Democrats SHOULD nominate John Edwards, but probably won't. (There, I endorsed somebody.)

3. The Republican candidate for president will be horrendously bad no matter who it is. Giuliani is a pathological liar and dangerous to America's freedom, Romney is utterly fraudulent and dishonest in every way, Huckabee is an idiot, McCain sold his soul to Satan aka W in 2000, and Ron Paul is nuts. Fred Thompson, however, has the best trophy wife among the GOP contenders.

4. The New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl. Unless they don't. The Bears will be much better than 7-9 this year. The White Sox will improve as well. The Cubs will make it 100 years of futility. (Sorry Dave and Will.)

5. The economy is sliding badly. I switched my (limited) holdings into gold stocks, energy stocks, and international funds. Maybe you should, too.

6. The U.S. will still be in mortal danger until 20 January 2009 at minimum.

7. Kauai will remain the best place in the world to live.

Happy New Year and much love to all of you,

Joe